So much.

It's been a minute since I last wrote. 

Teenagers don't love when you share their stuff, so I didn't.  

So many things I will just have to commit to memory and hope they will ask me someday.

And that's OK.  

I am at a season of life where there are no littles.  And I hate it and love it equally. 

But the last couple of years have been HARD.  And amazing.

We've endured a pandemic, the loss of senior year, the first year of high school in a bedroom, the death of a beloved great grandmother, realized a dream of playing college lacrosse, lost that dream due to injury, shed a lot of tears, made a lot of TikToks, produced music, played a lot of hearts, took some random vacations,  and had a lot of fun.  

We've had some broken hearts, good conversations, big decisions, plenty of laughs...and arguments, made plans and realized goals.  My Big kids are amazing and they challenge me every day, in good ways and bad.

They are growing up and growing away, and that means we've been successful.

I think.  

I wonder.  

I hope.  

The bigger they get, the littler the wins.  I mean, teenagers.  But to watch your children become your peers, the not-yet-realized best versions or yourself, to have conversations with them and to level up to this new existence...it's priceless.  Recently my husband, while explaining to our daughter that our job is to be our kids' parents and  NOT their best friends was met with -- "Well, Mom is MY best friend" -- and my heart nearly exploded.  My biggest Big still calls me Momma every once in a while and my heart just sings.  My littlest Big tells me "love ya" when I leave his room.  For no reason.  And it is everything.  

They are such amazing (almost) grown-ups.  I am a proud Momma.  A proud best friend.  A happy, loved lady.  

Here's to the next chapter of my little mommy musings!