Confessions

Because sometimes it feels good to come clean...even if my house isn't and probably never will be.

1.  There is a stack of thank you notes I just discovered on my kitchen counter from Christmas.  It's February.  At this point, I am embarrassed to send them, but also embarrassed not to.  Ugh.  Why does this always happen?

2.  Speaking of Christmas, there is a decorated tree on my screened porch and garland wrapping around the deck railing.  It's February.  Every time I see it I make a mental note to take it down, then I look at it.  And it's all the tinsel and lights and dismantling the fake tree and thinking about it zaps my energy and so I just walk back inside and promptly forget about it.  I'm too lazy to take it down.  Think I can find a space large enough to store it completely assembled?  Oh, and I also misplaced the cream and sugar bowls while holiday-ing up the joint and now I can't find them, so we are still using the Christmas dishes.  Oops.

3.  I just rewashed a load of clothes that I forgot was in the machine.  It may or may not be the third time it's been washed because I keep forgetting about them.  Anyone else? (and as I'm reading this over before hitting "publish" I realize they are STILL there and I better go do something about it.)

4.  I'm so ready for spring sports to begin.  I know, I know, that's crazy talk (especially after fall when we have something every day) but with it getting dark so early and everyone stuck inside because it's cold, it feels like we're all just floating around the house from 6:00-9:00 every night, not knowing really what to do with ourselves.  We are a family that requires structure.  I am a mom who (apparently, who knew?) requires structure. We are a family that requires outside and activity.  It will make me crazy and stressed, but I love it when the kids are active and I get to watch them do their thing.  Plus the TV won't be on as much. 

5.  I am learning the importance of taking care of yourself.  Not just your health, but your heart and mind and needs.  The one benefit of our more loosely structured days is that I have time to work out, so I guess I should be careful what I wish for (see #4) since this is something I'm loving.  I admit it sometimes feels wrong to jet off to the gym when the kids are home doing homework (am I the only mom who feels guilty for leaving them when I "feel" like I should be home?  Two of them are teenagers, after all, but still) but it makes me a better mother.  Working out saves my sanity and makes me feel like I have accomplished something...ANYTHING...productive and good (see #s 1 and 2 above).  And if I need alone time, I seek it.  As an introvert, I have learned this is necessary for me to be a good wife and mother.  At this point, I must say it's nice to not have to have a constant ear out for the kids to make sure they are safe/out of trouble.  Which leads me to...

6.  As much as it pains me that my children aren't babies anymore, it's also kinda wonderful.  Not having to have my finger on what they are doing at all times...well, it's amazing.  There once was a time when if I didn't know where Little Meems was or hear her playing, it meant paint on the carpet or sharpie on the car seats or her giving herself a mullet.  It meant W trying to jump off the top of the swing set (but Mom, I'm wearing a rope) or T climbing to the top of the holly tree in the front yard (which is as tall as our house and prickly).  Don't get me wrong, there is the occasional "OMG!" moment because that is my life and those are my kids, but mostly I can relax. 

7.  I have a hard time relaxing.  When I have down time, I feel guilty because there are always a million things I could/should be doing.  Like maybe taking down that tree.  This takes us back to #5.  Down time is OK.  Repeat: DOWN TIME IS OK.

8.  I used to think once the kids were older and didn't need babysitters that my husband and I would be free to have some sort of social life again, or at least date nights.  The reality is I love nothing more than being home with them.  Last night I made a ton of food for the Super Bowl and we stayed in, made a fire and ate and ate and ate.  Everyone watched the game and, although W wasn't there, it was awesome, just to have that family time.  Funny how priorities shift.

9.  I only ate a bowl of cereal yesterday so that I could eat all the snacks for the game.  When I admitted this to my family, my sweet T chimed in "Me too!  I didn't eat anything all day!" and my husband admitted he'd eaten only some carrots and hummus.  These are my people and I adore them. #getinmahbelly

10.  Today an email update came from the elementary school that really bothered me.  The author used an 's to pluralize the word Thursday.  Not only is this a pet peeve of mine (why do so many people do this?) but am I wrong to expect better from school? 

for real

Off to do some laundry and I think I'll tackle the garland on the deck.  The tree will have to wait.